Welcome,
This is a space for holding the mother’s experience following birth—a sacred time after her rite of passage. It’s a moment for her to return, embodying her new identity and integrating her profound transformation. Postpartum, like any rite of passage, is not just about the mother and child; it’s a time for the community and collective to come together in support.
Yet, within our society, there’s often an urgency to get “back to normal.” The focus shifts quickly to the baby, overlooking the deep shifts the mother is experiencing. Yes, the baby is an incredible gift, but the mother has also arrived—she is waiting to be held, seen, and received in her new expression.
In Ayurveda, this phase is connected to the air element, described by my teacher as a time when all the windows and doors are open. The task is to create a warm, welcoming space for her soul to return and for her body to reconnect with the earth element—allowing her to find presence with herself and her baby.
Ideally, all other concerns would be handled, but for most, this isn't the case. Society didn’t get the memo - whether deliberate, ignorant, or both, today’s discussion focuses on how we can shift the narrative. How can we reclaim this time and support our sisters and future generations?
We’re joined on this week's episode by Beatriz, a postpartum and birth doula born in Brazil and now residing in Sweden. Together, we’re here to raise awareness about recognizing when things are not okay—whether you’re a mother feeling confused or a family member unsure of how to provide support. Postpartum imbalance can manifest physically, emotionally, mentally, or spiritually. Every expression is valid, and all call for one thing: holding.
We start with the fundamentals: you are not broken. When needs are unmet, an imbalance arises. I recognize that not all mothers have access to a supportive team, and I hope this conversation offers hope, resources, and inspiration. You are wonderful, and you deserve to be supported.
If support feels unavailable, we’ll explore simple yet powerful practices—like placing your hands on the earth and whispering or screaming, “Please offer me support.” Whether turning to nature or calling on your ancestors, there is strength in reaching out.
As we journey through this conversation, we’ll also explore the needs of the immediate family. Rachel Garcia of Innate Traditions speaks of the “pillars of support” for each person: the baby has mama and papa, the mama has... the papa has... Everyone supports one another, creating ripples of care.
In my own postpartum experience, I learned this firsthand. Ilan was my everything, and that was a lot—for him, for me, and for us. Our support system ended with takeout meals. Those moments taught me that human connection is a fundamental need. That realization became the driving force behind this podcast and all the work I do.
Postpartum: A Rite of Passage
Our experience of life is shaped by countless factors: the lens of past experiences, the immediacy of the present, and the unique needs of our body, heart, and soul in each moment. In postpartum, a mother undergoes a profound rite of passage. Each journey is distinct, yet universally transformative, often marked by physical, emotional, and spiritual transitions. These shifts can define the experience of postpartum life, presenting both challenges and opportunities for growth.
While postpartum care often focuses on meeting external needs like nutrition, warmth, bodywork, and loving care, many mothers find these tangible supports insufficient to address deeper spiritual imbalances. Some may have their needs met outwardly but feel in limbo—a sense of incompleteness, a yearning for something more. Others, lacking support, mother themselves as best they can, only to encounter the long-term effects of unmet needs: physical pain, emotional struggles, or spiritual disconnection. This spectrum of experience highlights that postpartum is a holistic matter.
Common challenges like postpartum depression or baby blues, though normalized, are not “normal”; they’re invitations to explore the depth of this transition.
Rage: An Unspoken Postpartum Emotion
One recurring theme I’ve noticed in conversations with mothers over the past year is the emergence of rage. This raw, powerful emotion often exists in the shadows of societal expectations, especially for mothers. Rage doesn’t align with the image of the “nurturing” or “patient” mother, and so it’s frequently suppressed. Yet, when we name it, hold space for it, and explore its roots, rage can lead us to deeper truths about ourselves and our needs.
Rage often signals a sense of unsafety, a feeling of being trapped, or the pressure of constantly being on edge. For many mothers, this reflects a nervous system in fight-or-flight mode. By talking about rage and normalizing its presence, we can show mothers that they’re not broken. They’re experiencing life through the lenses of immense change, and there is a way through.
Signs of Postpartum Imbalance
Here are some signs to look out for in yourself or the mothers around you:
Physical Symptoms:
Changes in appetite
Pain or discomfort
Persistent illness
Hair loss
Heart palpitations
Shortness of breath
Nightmares
Exhaustion
Hormonal imbalances (e.g., irregular periods, hot flashes)
Muscle weakness or joint pain
Chronic headaches or migraines
Sleep disturbances (insomnia or excessive sleep)
Emotional Symptoms:
Sadness
Anxiety
Depression
Anger or rage
Loneliness
Emotional numbness
Feelings of inadequacy or failure
Mood swings
Difficulty bonding with the baby
Overwhelm or feelings of being trapped
Cognitive Symptoms:
Brain fog or difficulty concentrating
Memory lapses
Intrusive thoughts or obsessive worrying
Behavioral Symptoms:
Withdrawal from loved ones
Avoidance of responsibilities or overcompensating with perfectionism
Compulsive behaviors (e.g., over-cleaning, over-checking the baby)
Difficulty maintaining daily routines
Basic Needs Check
Start with the essentials. Reflect on whether these needs are being met:
Sleep: Even small windows of rest can help.
Nutrition: Are you eating enough nourishing, whole foods?
Hydration: Stay hydrated to support overall well-being.
Touch: Gentle, loving touch can soothe the nervous system.
Movement: Gentle movement like stretching or walking can ease tension.
Nature: Fresh air, sunlight, and connection to the earth can be grounding.
Connection: Do you have a safe space to share your thoughts and feelings?
Caring for a newborn is challenging, especially without support. Prioritize your needs, seek external help where possible, and don’t hesitate to ask for what you need.
You Are Not Broken
Remember, you’ve been through a profound rite of passage. You deserve to be nurtured and held as you nurture and hold your child. If you feel overwhelmed, slow down. Take it step by step. Express your needs by saying:
“I am feeling ___.”
“I need ___.”
Holding space—the ability to hold space for that which another is expressing—is a powerful gift. If you feel uncomfortable and really desire to fix it, take a breath and remember, so much comes when something is shared in a safe space. Trust that. Get comfy, I am with you.
Call on invisible support: connect with nature, your guides, or your ancestors. And if you’re at risk of harm—to yourself or your child—reach out to professional support immediately.
Support for Caregivers
If you’re supporting a postpartum mother, remember that you also need care. Society often places the burden of care on one person, but postpartum care should be communal. You deserve support too. Prioritize your well-being so you can show up fully.
Soothing Practices for the Nervous System
Welcoming simplicity and slowness can be profoundly healing. Say no to anything that doesn’t serve you and embrace practices that soothe your nervous system, such as:
Deep breathing
Gentle movement
Massage
Herbal teas
Quiet time in nature
We Are Not Alone
We are using words to explore this with the intention to let you know you’re not alone, whether you’re the mother or the support. This feeling that something isn’t right might show up in our body, thoughts, actions, words, dreams, or even through our babies. You know when you don’t feel in balance or nourished—YOU KNOW. That is enough to take a greater perspective. I hope this blog and podcast offer support, and you can reach out at any time.
A Path Through
Rage, sadness, exhaustion—these emotions and experiences don’t define you. They’re invitations to explore, to seek support, and to connect with the wisdom within you. This season of the Depths of Motherhood podcast is dedicated to the postpartum journey. Join us as we explore these themes, starting with Episode 110, and continuing in Episode 111.
You are not alone. You are not broken. You are in transition, and you deserve care, love, and space to heal.
This revision includes the additional sentence you requested and enhances the nurturing tone throughout the piece. Let me know if you'd like further adjustments!
What to Do If You’re Worried and Need Immediate Support Postpartum:
Contact Your Healthcare Provider: If you're noticing or feelingoverwhelmed, anxious, or struggling emotionally, call your doctor, midwife, or a healthcare professional immediately for guidance.
Reach Out for Emergency Mental Health Support: If you're having thoughts of self-harm, harming others, or are feeling out of control, seek immediate help through a mental health crisis hotline or go to the nearest emergency room.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 988 (U.S.)
Samaritans: 116 123 (UK)
Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741 (U.S.)
Contact a Trusted Support Person: Call a partner, family member, or friend to be with you during this time and help you access the care you need.
Visit a Postpartum Doula or Therapist: If you don’t have immediate access to professional care, a postpartum doula or therapist can help address urgent needs and provide guidance.
Call a Helpline: Reach out to a postpartum-specific helpline or a national mental health support service to talk through your feelings.
Take a Breath and Ground Yourself: If you feel overwhelmed, practice deep breathing to help calm your nervous system until further support is available.
Make the Environment Safe: If you are feeling unsafe or in crisis, make sure your environment is secure—remove anything that could pose a risk to you or others.
Seek Immediate Childcare Support: If you are struggling to care for your baby, ask a trusted person to help care for the child while you take time to center yourself.
Remember You Are Not Alone: No matter how intense the feelings may be, reach out—there is immediate support available, and you are deserving of help. Sending love, Danielle
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